Anal sex is a bit of a taboo subject, despite the fact that it’s an increasingly popular sexual activity. As more couples explore this type of sex, understanding the risks, rewards, and proper strategy is important.
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), anal sex is primarily growing in popularity with couples under age 45. In fact, in a national survey, 36 percent of women and 44 percent of men reported that they’ve had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner.
You might think of anal sex as anal penetration with a penis, but you have a few more options. Anal sex can also be performed with fingers or the tongue. Sex toys, like vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs, are used too.
Like any sexual activity, anal sex isn’t inherently unsafe. It just requires more planning, prep, and communication than some other forms of sexual activity. Safety during sex should be a top priority, but having fun is certainly important, too. Keep reading to learn more.
If you’re curious about anal sex, it’s important to be prepared before your next bedroom romp. Following proper precautions — which we’ll get to — is the only way to reduce your risk of injury or illness. And when you feel confident, you’re more likely to enjoy the experience.
Here’s what you need to know beforehand:
1. Unlike the vagina, the anus lacks lubrication
The vagina is a bit of a natural wonder. When a woman is aroused, the vagina provides its own lubricant for sex. The anus, however, does not. That means you have to provide it. Penetration without lubrication can tear the delicate tissue inside the anus, which can lead to pain and bleeding.
2. As with vaginal tissue, tissue inside the anus is more sensitive than tissue outside the anus
The tissue and skin around the anus acts as a protective barrier for the bottom half of your digestive tract. However, the tissue inside the anus is thinner, delicate, and more likely to tear and bleed as a result of penetration. This increases the likelihood of passing infections, viruses, or bacteria between partners. Even two partners who don’t have any sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can still pass bacteria between each other through these tears in the skin.
3. Like the vagina, the anus has a muscle that must relax to allow comfortable penetration
The anal sphincter acts as a bit of a gatekeeper for the rectum. For anal sex, however, it’s important that this muscle relaxes. Not only does it make the experience more pleasurable, it reduces the risk of tearing or discomfort. Relaxation involves patience, both at the time you’re attempting penetration, and as you become more accustomed to anal sex.
4. Like the vagina, the anus has bacteria
An STI isn’t the only thing you have to worry about sharing with anal sex. Bacteria living in or near the anus can be easily spread if you don’t take precautions to tidy up after anal penetration.
If you’re wearing a condom, be sure to remove it and roll on a new one before moving on to vaginal sex. If you’re not wearing a condom or if you’re using your hands or a toy, be sure to wash thoroughly after anal sex. Bacteria, such as hepatitis A and E. coli, can be spread from unclean anal sex practices.
For couples considering anal sex, answers to these common questions might help you decide if it’s right for you.
1. Will it hurt?
Yes and no. If done correctly, it can feel great. But that doesn’t mean you won’t experience some discomfort the first time — or even the first few times — you have anal penetration. Take your time, stop if it becomes uncomfortable, and try using fewer fingers or a smaller toy as you become accustomed to the sensation.
2. Is it normal to bleed?
Yes and no. It’s possible you will experience some bleeding your first time or two. However, the bleeding should stop in future sessions. If it doesn’t, or if bleeding grows worse with each round of intercourse, talk with your doctor. This may result from rough penetration or be a sign of an underlying concern.
3. Will it affect my ability to poop?
You might experience an urge to use the bathroom soon after your raunchy romp is over, but anal sex won’t prevent you from pooping. And, despite urban myths and one somewhat-flawed study that suggests otherwise, anal sex won’t stretch out your anus and prevent you from holding in bowel movements.
4. Other side effects and risks
A few other side effects are possible with anal sex. These include:
- Spreading STIs. Infections and diseases that are shared during sexual intercourse — such as HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and herpes — can be shared through anal sex. In fact, anal sex is the
riskiest sexual behavior for transmitting and getting HIV for both men and women. People on the receiving end (or “the bottom”) of anal sex are13 times more likely to become infected with HIV than the inserting partner (or “the top”). - Hemorrhoids. Stretching and pushing from anal sex can irritate existing hemorrhoids, but it’s unlikely to cause the dilated and stretched blood vessels inside the rectum and anus.
- Colon perforation. This is very uncommon, but it’s possible that anal penetration can puncture a hole in your colon. Surgical repair is necessary, so if you experience heavy rectal bleeding and abdominal pain following anal sex, see your doctor.
Anal sex can be a great way to have fun with your partner. You just need to give this new sexual adventure a bit of planning and preparation. As long as the two of you are on the same page about what you’d like to do and how, you can enjoy this experience together.
1. Talk with your partner
Anal sex shouldn’t be a surprise request mid-tryst, and no “Oops! It slipped!” excuses here — that’d be a major violation of trust and consent. If you’re interested in trying anal sex, have a conversation with your partner. Just out with it one day, and let them know you’re curious.
If the feeling is mutual, adventure awaits. If one of you decides anal sex just isn’t your thing, that’s OK. There are lots of options for spicing things up in the bedroom without adding anal sex.
2. Consider an enema
Worried that doing the dirty will, ahem, be dirty? It’s possible. If you want things squea
